Alreet, pet! If you thought the transfer market was cooling down, you'd better think again. While everyone's been distracted by the usual top-tier drama, I've been digging into the orderbooks, and there's some absolute madness happening right now that you need to see.

Let's start over in France. Auxerre manager LilPimietuk has slapped a staggering ₷165M asking price on 24-year-old defender Clément Akpa. Now, the lad is quality—a 90-rated left-back with his best years ahead of him. But here's the kicker, darlin': he's currently injured and won't be off the treatment table for another 18 days! Valued by the system at ₷23.9M, Auxerre is asking nearly seven times his market value for a player on crutches. Back in February, LilPimietuk was spotted in the Discord transfers channel saying the club was "in big need to sell Akpa" and could "lower down the price a bit." Well, if ₷165M is the lowered price, I'd hate to see the original!

Meanwhile, real money is actually changing hands. Over at Paris, manager Janca listed their 33-year-old veteran center-back (Player #1148) for a cool ₷50M. It didn't take long for Galata's boss, Rivald0, to swoop in with a massive ₷55M bid. Paying that kind of SVC for a 91-rated veteran shows just how desperate clubs are for elite defensive stability as we head towards the business end of Season 3. When you've got a budget like Galata's ₷68.8M balance, you can afford to pay a premium for immediate impact.

And if you want to talk about the premium on youth, look no further than England's Division 3. Carlisle manager LucasMB has listed 19-year-old Croatian wonderkid Noa Mikić for a minimum bid of ₷60M. The 86-rated right-back is valued at just ₷12.8M, but with his whole career ahead of him, someone might just be crazy enough to pay it. Keep your eyes peeled, la—this market is completely unpredictable right now, and I'll be here to track every single coin.